When people aren’t thinking straight, there are some tell-tale signs to look out for. Lance shared this advice at the nib Inspiring Stories Breakfast June 1st  2016 to launch Men’s Health Month.


  • Eye contact disappears – they will never look you in the eye.
  • Communication goes – they will reduce talking, give excuses not to stop and chat (I’m too busy) become quiet.
  • Withdrawn – won’t go out, sty in their house/room, not want any contact whatsoever.
  • Pale – they will begin to look ‘pasty’ as the blood goes to the vital organs to ‘protect’ them.

If you feel that this is happening to you, do the opposite – look people in the eye, talk more, get out and about, and most importantly talk to other people. Tell a mate!

If you have someone who appears to have some of the indicators, ask them – “You aren’t looking your usual self mate, are you okay, is there something that I can help you with?”

If they don’t answer of fluff about, tell them of your concern. You need to make the first move. If nothing else, just be there as much as you can, let them know that you are there whenever they need to talk. Don’t push them too hard, just little bits of contact. Never force someone to do what they don’t want to do, drop little hints. We all need help from time to time, but only when we are ready.

Listen to Lance Burdett speak more on this topic in his Radio NZ Interview